why do i live?
by maidance
Summary: I'm really new at this, so please be nice! rated M to be safe. um... i guess its Gohan torture. its about Gohan living after Goku refuses to be wished back, and chi-chi starts drinking. umm... if you want me to I'll continue.
1. Chapter 1

**Ok! So this is my first real story. I made one for twilight, but lost inspiration. And had a lack of reviewers. So I hope this is good!**

** If you review at the bottom, I'll continue this story. But I'll need at lease 3 reviewers, ok!  
>I'm not sure if this is good or not. Flames are welcome, as long as you tell me what you don't like and just say "I hate this"<br>I know there are a lot of stories like this ( or at lease I've read similar ones) and I read a lot of fanfiction, so if it seems like I'm copyrighting, I don't mean to. Oh, and I REALLY like Gohan, but this just happens to make Gohan in pain. A lot. So caution. If you don't like fic's like this, don't read it. But his life WILL get better. I promise!**

**DISCLAIMER:**

** "come on Gohan! Say the disclaimer!"**

"**Do I have to?"**

"**YES!"**

"**Fine, this maidance does not own dragon ball z. dragon ball, dragon ball z and dragon ball gt are all owned funimation and other people"  
><strong>

Gohan sat down and stared at the stars. The same stars that had shined before HE died. The same stars that have watched me cry time, and time again because of my

father constantly dieing. It's weird to think the fight with cell only happened 1 week ago. Time seems to move so slowly. It's probably because I do the same thing

every day. Get up, make breakfast, eat, train, eat, study, eat then go to bed. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't even talk to my mom, nor does she talk to me. Well at

least it WAS that way, until last night my mom came home from doing whatever she was doing in the city. I went to go make sure she was ok, because I noticed she

was crying. I asked her what was wrong and the answer I got shook me to my core.

"Gohan… I'm pregnant" she managed to get out between her sobs. I didn't answer. I simply just walked to my room and sat down. Not cause I didn't care. Cause I did!

But the shock had left me at a lose of words. A little brother! Wow, but I knew I would have to be more than a little brother; I would have to be the father of this little

child. And I wasn't sure I was ready for that. A father at 11? I'm still at an age that I need a father myself. How could HE do this to our family? Yes that's right, I can't

even bare to call that man, Goku my father anymore. Because, although he is dead, he was given a choice to come back, and he refused. That in my mind and the mind

of every sane person I know is called abandoning. He made up some story about bad guys not attacking if he isn't around and that was the last we heard of him. The

bastard. But I also wished he would come back so I could feel less guilty. Because, the bare truth was, I had killed my dad. Not directly, but I had been too cocky and

put the world at risk. And he died because of it. And although all his friends say it's not my fault, I know it is. And I know they think so to. Because I have caught them

glaring at me when they think I'm not looking. I have even caught my own mother glaring at me. But if HE did come back, how would I deal with it? Because I could not

just go back to not hating him. He had already skipped out on 8 years of my life. One when I was three and 7 after Namek. And hearing I'm going to have a baby

brother just added to my hatred. So not only will he miss out on the rest of my life, he's going to miss out on the WHOLE life of his youngest son or daughter. What's

going to happen when he's older and all his friends have dads, and he wants to know why he doesn't have one? What am I going to say? I killed him? Or, he

abandoned us? I can't see ether one going over very well.

The next day at about midnight, I wake up to get a glass of water and notice my mothers not home. I normally wouldn't care, because she's a grown woman who can

take care of herself, but she never leaves at night time, because she doesn't have a driver's license. So I stay up a little longer waiting for her. Finally at around 1 am

she stumbles through the door. She's starts to fall and I catch her. As soon as I catch her though, I can smell alcohol on her breath and I see an empty vodka bottle in

her hand. Uh, oh. I think. I set her down on the couch and she grabs my wrist. I feel my ki level drop dramatically, and when she lets go I see she's put a ki blocker on

my wrist. An invention of Bulma's incase any of us go bad, or they catch a powerful hostage. The fact my mom would have this means Bulma has lost her faith in me.

"That way I can teach you a lesson for killing my husband you bastard" my mom slurs out. She breaks the vodka bottle on the coffie table beside her and before I have

time to move, she shoves the broken bottle into my stomach. "You're no son of mine" she says and stumbles to her room and closes her door with a slam. That hurt.

The words and the bottle, still sticking out of my chest. But I noticed something. After she stabbed me, I didn't really care that she was insulting me. I was out of the

world of cruel words and confusing thoughts, and into the world of only one thing. Pain. As I lay there thinking about the bottle in my chest, another thought came to

me before the darkness edging at my vision took complete control. Drinking isn't gook for babies.

**Please review below ****J**** reviews mean chapters come out quicker! **

**Also any questions will be answered here.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi guys! **

**Sorry I wanted to update sooner, but I got caught up preparing for school, which starts on September 7****th****. Also, with hurricane Irene we didn't have power for a while. **

**I'm VERY happy with all the attention chapter 1 got!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own dragon ball, dragon ball z, or dragon ball gt. They are property of Funimation, Toyianimation (spelling?) and others.**

I woke up the next morning still on the floor. I looked to my right and saw my mother passed out on the couch. "so I guess last night wasn't some horrible nightmare." I

thought sadly. I looked down at my wrist and saw the 'bracelet' my mother had forced on me. At first glance it looked like a silver bangle, but at closer examination it

looked more like a handcuff minus the chain. But it had a lock on it, I suspect Bulma made it for future captured villains. And it would be excellent black mail for Vegeta. I

wonder what got into my head yesterday, Bulma is always like a second mother to me. I chuckled thinking of Vegeta weaker than Trunks, Bulma's almost 1 year old

son.

I started to try to get up and noticed all the dried blood on my shirt. "oh yeah" I thought, the bottle. I forced myself to look at the wound and immediately felt

nauseous. The bottle was still there, almost as if it was a part of me. I braced myself and swiftly pulled the broken bottle from my body. I almost blacked out again.

I forced myself to my feet and stumbled to the bathroom, where the first aid kit was. As soon as I had the wound bandaged it was obvious it would need professional

attention. But I couldn't tell them my MOTHER had done this to me! She was PRINCESS chi-chi wife of the desisted Goku Son, the former world tournament champion.

NO ONE would believe me. But I had to something, I would die! "Wait!" I thought, " the sensue beans! They could heal me!" there were some in the kitchen, now the

problem was getting there. The wound had already bleed through the bandages. I guess I would have to struggle through, I didn't have much of a choice.

After what seemed like a millennium of inching towards the kitchen I found the sensue beans. There were 7. I ate 1 and put the rest in my pocket because I had the

feeling this wouldn't be the last time I would need them. It will never seize to amaze me about how quickly the beans work. However there was some left over glass in

the wound that I needed to pick out so it didn't get infected. I didn't want to waist 2 sensue beans on the same wound.

I was just about to start making breakfast when I heard a sound from the living room. "oh crap" I thought. My mom was starting to wake up

"GOHAN!"

… To be continued…

**Ok, sorry this is MUCH shorter. I'll try to make them longer.**

**oh, and i didn't really get any questions. i did get a review saying the last one seemed rushed, and thats right, i did rush it a little. i wrote it at a library so i only had 30 minuets. and although this one is shorter, i hope its better.  
><strong>


	3. Waking Up

**Ok, so I'm SO sorry for not updating, but my school started, and I've been trying to find a time to write this story. Well here it is, so please enjoy…**

**Gohan: aren't you forgetting something?**

**Maidance: no… aren't you?**

**Gohan: do I have to do it every time?**

**Maidance: fine, Videl, you do it**

**Videl: who are you? I'm not even IN this chapter!**

**Maidance: But you will be, so SAY IT!**

**Videl: fine… Maidance does NOT own dragon ball, dragon ball z or dragon ball gt. They are owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama**

"GOHAN!" Gohan heard.

'Oh crap she's waking up… what do I do!' he didn't want to hurt her by fighting her, because she was strong, but hadn't trained since she married Goku. 'I guess I'm

just gonna have to knock her out' Gohan didn't really like the sound of that idea, but it seemed to be the only reasonable option, so he'd have to do it anyways. So he

made he way over to his mother, who was just now getting up, and tried to chop her neck, but then remembered something, as his hand his her neck, he only had the

power level of a normal boy cause of the stupid ki bracelets/handcuffs his mother had so "lovingly" put on him. So, although chichi was weak compared to the Z fighters,

she was much stronger than an average human, especially a teenaged boy.

"What the HIFL are you doing, you stupid, good for nothing brat?" she replied to his fail at knocking her unconscious. Suddenly she grabbed his wrist and said, "Clean

up this mess immediately! Bulma's coming over later today to check on how my pregnancy's going and I don't want a PEEP out of you, you hear me!" chi-chi said

threateningly.

"Of course mom" I whispered back. If I told anyone, not only would they not believe me, but if mom found out, she'd kill me! So I started to clean up all the mess on the

floor. As I did this, I could see my mom out of the corner of my eye going to the bathroom to either: A. throw up, or B. get an Advil or something, my saiyan genes

makes painkillers useless. As I was throwing all the stuff away (it took a while cause I kept cutting myself on the glass from the broken bottle I was to distracted to

notice.) I heard someone knock on the door.

"Chi-Chi, are you home? I've brought the doctor with me." Bulma called out from somewhere outside. At this comment mom appeared from the bathroom looking much

better than she had previously, almost making me believe I had dreamt the whole thing, but then she grabbed my wrist and threw me (literally) into my room and

locked the door from the outside. (It's a reverse lock)

"Yeah Bulma, I'm here" she yelled softly back. "The doors open you can come right in!"

"Thanks Chi-Chi, by the way, where's Gohan? I haven't seen that little tyke in forever!" (Yes I know there talking like teenagers… kinda, but there friends! What do you

expect?)

"Oh, well you know, the cell games took away so much time from his studying! He has a LOT of caching up to do." Chi-Chi said is a madder-of-fact way. "I'm sure he'll be

done before you leave, so he can say hello"

"Well you never change now do you? Always making Gohan hitting the books. When he was four and we went to Namek he asked for some help on his homework, and

that was like high school level stuff! I can only dream of the level he's at by now!" It was true, his mom had been making him study a lot but, even though he was on

college level stuff, he never got a sincere praise from his mom, looking back his mom had been acting strange ever since he had told her about dad dieing at the cell

games…

"Yeah, well I want him to be prepared when he grows up! And not be a knucklehead like his father…" she trailed off in memories. As they continued to talk about

useless things Gohan decided he would do the homework for today, incase his mother got another mean streak. As I settled down to start on my science textbook, I

could hear the doctor finally start to examine my mom. For a moment, I worried if the baby would be ok from last night, but then the doctor told my mom she was in

perfect health and promptly left. As soon as Bulma and the doctor had gotten out the door (after chi-chi apologizing for Gohan not being able to make an appearance

(yeah right)) Mom made her way into the kitchen (or it at least sounded that was from my room) an shortly after she unlocked the door and barged into my room

holding a, now half empty, can of beer. "Would you like some?" she said, sarcastically. Then she pushed me against my bed, handcuffed my hands to the headboard

(not a very comfortable position) and startled me.

… To be continued…

**Yeah… so no Videl this chapter. BTW who wants Videl in the story?**

**Yes: 0**

**No: 0**

**Sent in your votes!**

**All of your comments are wonderful, and they keep me writing, so please review!**


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